What is the 'Stiletto Network'?

   

   Yesterday, I was passing by the business section of Barnes and Nobles when I saw a book that caught my attention. “Stiletto Network” is a book, that was housed in the business section, with the cover decorated with the legs of women in stiletto high-heel shoes. Now, those who have seen me traveling recently know that the design of my suitcase and traveling bag is a cascade of shoes.  My love of shoes prompted me to further investigate. Curiosity got the best of me as I posed my first question,“What is the ‘Stiletto Network’?” My next thought was that it looked out of place next to books covered with businessmen in business suits.

     My investigation into the meaning of the title revealed “Stiletto Networks” are groups formed by professional and influential women.  The women, who are representative of different industries, work together to promote the interests of their members.  As the writer describes, “Stiletto Networks are not about titles…[they] are about trying to make your own personal dent in the world”. The titles of these groups: the “Harpies”, “Babes in Boyland” and “Chicks in Charge”, amuses me as they communicate how these women are overcoming the gender barriers that exists in their industries.  The more I read the introduction, the more I came to understand that the very same group that I previously advertised (DEBOW) could be categorized as a “Stiletto Network”.

   

These groups are networking opportunities that provide women the opportunity to use their collective intelligence and expertise from different industries to uplift and motivate one another. They gather together in a relaxed environment to celebrate accomplishments,discuss relevant issues, and compare notes. These ladies leave these gatherings motivated to put into action what they have learned or motivated to overcome challenges that they are facing. Some of the ways these networks help their members is through, “…the provision of information, an introduction, a recommendation, a partnership, or through the provision of a landmark deal”. Many prominent women are part of these networks, and they have attributed some of the victories they experienced to their friends.

     After reading the introduction, I had to purchase the book. I personally enjoy the opportunity to develop, uplift, or motivate other women in their pursuit of their dreams. I am interested in learning of ways that these executives and influential women have done the same. I say enough with all the negative stories of those who have the “crab barrel” mentality and hate to see another woman become successful. It is time for us to pull each other up and develop that “Stiletto Network” that can open doors in the lives of others.

     I suggest that every woman become a part of one of these organizations.  Isolation never cause anyone to be successful, it is the power in numbers that empowers the members of a group to be successful.

As I continue to read chapters from this book, I will be posting my thoughts for the interested reader. We can all benefit from the wisdom gathered by this writer as many of us pursue professional development in our areas of interest.

To purchase this book, click here.

For more information about Donetta Quinones or Academic Research Solutions, click here.

Real Growth Requires Commitment!

“For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

     

Every individual is given resources that can help them to build a successful life.  It is the ineffective use of those resources that creates a problem for an individual who does not know how to access or use the tools that are available to them. We all must develop the necessary skills to effectively use the resources that are available to us. This is accomplished through a journey of self-discovery that will ultimately lead to the removal of barriers, the development of a positive self-image, and the ability to achieve success in every area of life.
We should never be stagnant in life but always moving

forward attempting to achieve our next level of success. If you are not experiencing the success that you desire in life, attempting to understand the reason you are experiencing barriers to getting to that next level in your life can be frustrating. When comparing what is going on in your life right now and your ideal situation, what is confining you and causing you to go around in circles, digging a deeper pit for yourself. The answer to that question takes self-exploration, development, and support. It requires an investment of time and effort to learn how to overcome what is hindering you and you are worth it!

     Many individuals are more willing to spend their time, efforts, and financial resources to promote an image of success and prosperity. That image is a smoke screen that will eventually fade to reveal the true nature of a problem. Have you

ever been on a job with a co-worker who lacked the necessary skill set to perform their job well? They were able to land the position through their presentation; however, they lacked the character or skill set to excel on the team. Have you dated an individual who appeared to be the perfect match but their true nature was later revealed to be a wolf in sheep’s clothing? They had the appearance of having it all together but lacked the character needed to sustain a healthy relationship. The image that is seen by the world should be a demonstration of the investment an individual has made into their academic, personal, professional, and spiritual development. When you spend the time and effort, everyone around you will reap the benefits!

     Our services provide you with information and support you need to transform your circumstances and become further developed in your abilities. Our desire is to assist you in solving the problem you are facing in transforming your life and reaching your full potential. We will help guide you in examining and using the resources that are available to you. This will help you to move forward in achieving your goals. Contact us to receive a personal consultation.

To learn more about us and our services, please visit our site at www.ars-mhrcs.com.

What is the Mirror Telling You?

    

     Today I must have felt a bit nostalgic for the days of my childhood because out of nowhere, I began to sing Diana Ross song “Mirror,Mirror”.  I used to love watching Diana Ross as she let her hair flow singing, “Mirror, Mirror on the wall, I thought you said you had the answers to it all, You never told me I was gonna take a fall, Mirror, Mirror, Mirror on the wall.”  Of course at the time of the release of this song, I was too young to understand the meaning behind the lyrics. In my young mind, I thought Diana Ross was the black Snow White and the song was the theme song to the new movie. Did I mention that “The Wiz” was my all time favorite movie.  I digress, please allow for me to continue.

    So, this morning I am singing the song and I decide to look for the video so I can remember the rest of the lyrics. I wanted to understand the true meaning behind the song. If I can get on my behavioral scientist soapbox for a moment, let me just remind everyone of how our childhood memories can often be distorted. We encode information through our knowledge and understanding of an experience. Our perceptions of words or events can be distorted as we attempt to recall memories through the lens of our youthful mind. Memory distortion and false memories is a hot topic in the legal and behavioral science arena. I am describing a very mild variation of the issue however it is very relevant.  My attempt to sing the song was inhibited by my limited callback and understanding of the lyrics. I was 5 or 6 years old when I first heard this song and the only reason I recalled the song at all was because the repetition of the chorus was ingrained in my brain and I related the chorus to the evil stepmother and her mirror in the story of Snow White. 

          Well, I found the song on Youtube along with the lyrics and it was disappointing to find that it was not a theme song to Disney’s black version to Snow White.  (Side Bar…I copyright the idea of a black Snow White movie using Diana Ross’s song…now back to our discussion) The lyrics express the disillusionment one feels by the fairy tale story of love.  This brings about an important discussion about relationships because many of us have read the fairy tales of how a princess finds her prince and they live happily ever after during our childhood. We subscribed to this story often imagining ourselves as that princess who will eventually find our prince living the picture perfect life with no more problems to overcome or evil witches to combat. Diana Ross is echoing our emotions and accusations of how we were lied to as we follow the prescribed way of living that is supposed to bring about the happiness that we desire.   She is calling out that “Mirror” who was feeding her lies for so long that before she knew it, she physically grew older while her young heart yearned for the love that she was promised. 

Diana Ross in "Lady Sings the Blues"

          I know that I am opening a can of worms by bringing about this discussion but it is necessary because many men and women subscribe to a certain ideology about relationships that is causing internal and external conflict.  We need to go on a journey of self-discovery that helps us to change our distorted way of thinking about who we are as individuals and our roles in relationships. I had to learn that I am not Diana Ross (I am having a hard time with that reality…. I am still holding on to my Diana Ross wig…again…I digress). I had to learn that Diana Ross is a creation of Motown and even she had to go on her own journey of self-discovery. We have to stop viewing ourselves through rose colored lens, learn about our personality characteristics and how our behavior impacts our lives and our relationships. When there is conflict in relationships, those who are involved must remember that both parties participate in the success or failure of the relationship. We should not allow ourselves to have distorted or false memories about our relationships that will cause us more harm in relationships.  Conflict resolution can come about when there is an open discussion about each person’s philosophy on relationships and behavioral tendencies.  The basic foundation of success in any relationship is built upon mutual understanding, acceptance, and respect for those involved. A successful relationship never comes about through accusations and further discussion of past transgressions.

     I can go on and on about the "Mirror" and how can be representative of how we reflect our ideologies in relationships and become upset when those within the relationship do not cosign on our way of thinking.  I can say that Diana is not upset with the "Mirror", she is actually expressing anger at herself for continuing with an unsuccessful way of thinking and she finally came to the realization of the error of her ways. I can say many things about the attempt to blame others (in this case inanimate objects) for our downfalls. The most important thing that must be done when one looks into the mirror and sees their reflection is to reach a level of self-awareness and self-acceptance.  Through self-awareness and self-acceptance, the reflection will reveal the truth about oneself and their relationships. 

For more information about Conflict Resolution, Relationships, or Personal Development, please feel free to sign up for one our webinars or personal consultation services.  Visit us at www.ars-mhrcs.com/Disc-consulting.html or email me at Donetta.Quinones@research4usolutions.com